It can be inexplicable what finally makes you act on thoughts that have been niggling away at your everyday life, and open the door to a future that makes sense (or is that close the door on present senselessness?).
The basic facts: I'm 49. Just walked away from a 12 year relationship, where we just became each others loving non-inspiration. Avoided leaving for years, managing to suppress unhappiness, passion, desire for life, functioning at a real level; all in the determination not to again be... a single white female. Weird that coupled unhappiness should be so much less terrifying than single happiness (or the pursuit thereof).
But plainly, stepping out at 49 scared the bejesus out of me, even while the thought was always there, like an inner mouse taking small bites out everyday certainty The mouse eventually ate away at everything and, on arriving home one day, I just looked around, turned on my heel (pausing to pick up tootbrush & change of undies) and just left.
So, what now.... As I HATE dating (OK, was maybe just very bad at it), I've decided to turn this new start into fun and a challenge.
I'll date 10 men from online dating sites, once only each (rule No 1), totally different to each other in age/weight/profile (so not just the ones I'd normally fancy rule No 2), have the exact same date with each (rule No 3), and post the experience (not making dicks out of them, unless really do that for/to themselves... rule No 4).
I welcome any suggestions on types to choose from & date structure. Also on staying sane and open to life - while staring down the doubts and (any) darker moments, and boring dates (though maybe not too many of the latter....).
Press green for go!
